You Are Enough: A Picture Book by Therapist, Emma Oldershaw

Written by Emma Oldershaw, Wellbeing Author and Owner of Open Skies Hypnotherapy

In my work as a therapist, I see and hear of many children who are struggling. In this increasingly fast-paced world, with its emphasis on success and achievement, children can feel under unbearable pressure. It’s hard enough to navigate the transition from young, dependent toddler to Year 6 tweenager, and some of the developmental leaps between school years feel too big.

Imagine trying to navigate all of that whilst also feeling pressure from the adults around you. That’s why I wrote my children’s book, You Are Enough.

As a therapist specialising in a model of therapy known as Transactional Analysis, I was interested to learn more about something called the “Critical Parent”. The critical parent lives in all of us. It can manifest not just in the way we speak to children, but also in the way we talk to the child part of ourselves.

As I studied this model of therapy, I began to understand that the way I talked to myself, and the limiting beliefs that I held because of this negative and harsh dialogue, was coming from my critical parent. As I began to trace back to where this voice originated, I realised it was a combination of my mother, my teachers and my school bullies. All these people had said things about me that I had internalised as being true, even though they weren’t. These negative messages had become my life script, preventing me from living the life that was truly mine. I was depressed, I felt worthless, I believed I was a freak. I went into abusive relationships, and I followed a career as a lawyer to prove to everyone that I was intelligent and to please my parents. I had never had the confidence to follow my own path.

I knew I had to do something. I needed to help other children to understand that the messages they hear from adults around them are not theirs to take on. I also needed to educate these adults about the impact their words could have, even years after they are spoken. I am never about blame or shame. As a therapist I am non-judgemental. As a parent I know I say things to my child that she might internalise in a damaging way. We are all human beings with flaws, and that is OK. I am just trying to educate and inform – to use my knowledge and my own lived experience to raise awareness and find a better way forward.

And so, You Are Enough was born. This is a book to help children understand that the critical parent comes from a place of care. It wants the best for us, but the way the voice comes out can make us feel otherwise. It’s also designed to help children let go of what is not theirs and to know the difference between their own narrative and the narrative of the adults around them.

This book is having a huge impact already since its release in Summer 2025. I have watched adults read the book and nod in recognition. Sometimes they cry. It has been reviewed by a self-harm charity as, “A must read for children who are struggling with their self-esteem and mental wellbeing, but actually really relevant for adults too. An amazing book.”  Parents have called it, “a brilliant book and so powerful”.

My wish is for this book to open a dialogue between parents and children, teachers and children, and any other adults who work with children. Through a shared reading experience, it is my hope that this book will foster understanding, forgiveness and peace, repairing fractured relationships and allowing the closing of old wounds. Now more than ever, it is so important that children feel heard in the school system, and that we can send them out into the world free from the burden of restrictive or negative messages that may limit their potential as adults. Let the legacy of school be one of nurture, because like plants we cannot thrive without it.

I am writing my own resources to be used alongside the book and I am always happy to come into schools to talk about the book and run workshops. In the meantime, the book could be used by teachers in the following ways:

1. Asking children to write down or draw something that represents the messages they hear about themselves, then asking them to challenge these messages by thinking of evidence they have that suggest the messages are not true.
2. Trying some mindfulness techniques such as breathing exercises if the messages become overwhelming.
3. Making sure the book is available to all Pastoral Support Workers within the school, who can use it in their work with children.

Interested in Emma’s work? Visit her website to find out more.