Supporting bereaved children and their classmates using ‘How to Mend a Friend’ by Karl Newson

Lesson resources and top tips for primary school teachers

When a child in class faces a difficult time in their lives, be it a bereavement or other upsetting situation in their home lives, it can be tricky to know what to say and how to support them.

The Marfleet Foundation and The Story Project have come together to create a very special mini unit of work to help primary school teachers feel empowered to talk about bereavement with their class.

Using the story ‘How to Mend a Friend’, the lesson resources help children to understand how they like to be helped and how to help others with a particular focus on bereavement and difficult times. The lessons also support children’s empathy building, encouraging them to think about how people like to be supported in different ways.

In this regard, the unit can be used not just with the bereaved child but also with their classmates too. It is perfect for use during Child Grief Awareness Week 17-24th November and National Grief Awareness Week 2nd-8th December.

Talking to a Bereaved Child using our Lesson Resource

If the child has very recently experienced a bereavement, it may feel too raw to have a whole class conversation about grief straight away. So if you are thinking about using our resource, consider the timing of when you teach it. It may need to be taught at a later date so the child can fully participate.

If the child has been away from school for a long time due to a bereavement, talk to the family about how the child would like to transition back to school. They may find it helpful to have you talk to the rest of the class before the child returns, in which case the lessons will need to happen before this.

Top Tip: Try to avoid euphemisms such as ‘passed away’ which can lead to misunderstanding. Try to remain as factual as you can, considering the age and level of the children.

Children will have different experiences of loss, with some children experiencing very painful losses in their lives. Other children may have experienced the loss of a pet or a favourite teddy, for example. Care should be taken to ensure all children’s feelings are validated, while ensuring that children understand different losses are not comparable.

Top Tip: Establishing ground rules at the start of the lesson can support children to feel safe and comfortable, meaning they are more likely to speak openly.

For more tips and ideas, download our resource below.

‘How to Mend a Friend’

The book ‘How to Mend a Friend’ was written during a very challenging time in the author’s life when he was facing cancer treatment. He wrote the story after the wave of love and support he received from his friends and family helped him to overcome many of the emotional challenges of being poorly.

The story is beautifully told, looking at all the ways that people like to be supported. Our lessons guide children through this, supporting them to talk about the author’s life and other times of difficulty that people might need help with.

Using this story helps scaffold these conversations. It helps support teachers and classmates when they don’t know what to say, focusing instead on practical and empathetic ways to support a bereaved child. For children who have experienced grief or difficult times, it means that the conversation doesn’t feel too raw. They don’t have to talk about their own experiences if they don’t want to, instead they can take part in the conversation through the eyes of the character.

Download the Resource Now

Research backed and teacher-led, the unit combines The Marfleet Foundation’s and The Story Project’s years of experience in the classroom, research in using stories to support wellbeing and lived experience of bereavement.

The unit pack includes a unit overview (complete with more top tips and links to the RSHE curriculum guidance), lesson plans, resources and a PPT to accompany the sessions. All you need to do is buy the book.

About The Marfleet Foundation

Empowering teachers to support bereaved children in schools

The Marfleet Foundation is the brainchild of Emma Marfleet.

Emma has a degree in Education from Homerton College, Cambridge University. She has worked as a Class Teacher in both KS1 and KS2, an Advanced Skills Teacher offering outreach peer support in a range of primary schools across North London, and a Deputy Head Teacher in Camden. She is Vice Chair of the Governing body to an Ofsted rated Outstanding Infant and Nursery school in Richmond.

She is a widowed mother to 3 school-aged boys.

About The Story Project

Using the magic of stories to improve children’s wellbeing and literacy

Led by high-quality, popular books and rooted in the latest research, The Story Project have remarkable impact from Nursery to Year 8 with our fully resourced curriculums created by teachers.

Covering all the statutory elements of the RSHE curriculum (including the new July 2025 RSE changes), our resources help children to stay safe, build empathy, support positive relationships and learn strategies to manage their mental health.

Teachers and children alike love our lessons! The stories create a distance between the topic and the reader, making even those trickier subjects easy and fun to unpack. What’s more, the thought-provoking books make lessons engaging and memorable.